puddimouto

Yeah, you know those times when everything starts to not work the way you expect it to be? Yeah that. And you'd have a breakdown? Yeah, that. And when everyone turns and make you look like a bad guy? Yeap... that too.

Shit happens.


And at some point, you can't do anything about it.

okay so, I haven't posted anything for how long? I have no clue.

I've been busy with stuff I had to handle. All the problems I have to face, and even worse I have no idea what to write about.

I will, sooner or later.

And also, I have no wifi, and even this entry I had to come over to my best friend's crib to be able to update an entry.

And half an hour after this entry, I had to go to a course I've been taking with my best friend, which will brighten my future college. Anyhow, I need to be on a vacation. I've been through so much. But I don't regret every single day I've passed by.

That's it for now. Hope to write with peace soon enough.

Yours truly,

Pudding.

When you're hurt, either you find a way to be alone, or try to find someone you love the most for an embrace.

People get hurt by many things. Can be from someone else, or a moment where a tragedy happened, which hurts them. But a tragedy is caused by a human being. Everything happens because of someone, or something.

Life seems hard. No, it is hard. And we get hurt most of the times. We tend to hurt ourselves, to ease the pain away from our hearts. Or we tend to drink to forget about the pain. Or we just simply fall into something even more scary, just to wash the pain away.

I do not believe, that that behavior will lead us to salvation.

Everyone has their own level of pain. Not everyone is as strong as we are. Knowing that we are strong enough to get through this, why don't we just have faith, have the willing to forgive, forget, and move on? Put a smile on our beautiful faces that will definitely be a blessing to someone else?

We should live to bless other people. To be there for someone who's going through something so difficult. Put aside our ego, and start looking out around us. Have the attitude to care, and be the one for a certain person to lean on to. We can easily do that, rather than whining about our own problems which only wastes more time and energy.

"No, my problem is too heavy. I'm too hurt. I'm hopeless. I can't help anyone, because I'm too hopeless."

No.

Recently, I've been through something horrible, I thought that I shouldn't be doing anything but just sit there and be an idiot for the rest of my life.
But then I figured, that by being happy, is to make other people happy, first. Meaning, we forget about our pain, and start reaching out to someone else, who probably has been through something way more tough.

There is no point in life that I keep wishing that everything will be perfect. I kept wishing, "I wish everything will be perfect. I wish everything will be perfect. I wish everything will be perfect." Wishing, won't help.

Even though we have crappy lives, but we have someone who loves us truly.
Sometimes we feel that nobody loves us. Big mistake in our brain there. Someone does love us. We're just too blind, feeling too sorry for ourselves to even open our eyes and see that there people who love us.
They have their different language to love us. Maybe it's time for us let go of our ego, and start understanding other people.

It's ego. Our worst enemy. An enemy that we have in us, since the day we were born. But we can still fight it. Why not fight it, if it'll make us a better person?

It's time for us to pray. Have faith, love and hope. Time to forgive, forget, and move on.

- Pudding

Okay, so I lied about becoming a doctor, to make a cure for writers block.
I was being crazy without cleverness.
Craziness, needs cleverness.

Anyways, I managed to clean the whole house. Cleaned 4 rooms in this house. Vacuumed the floor. Mopped it, too. Washed the dishes. And all those housework. Being a woman is hard.

And, I am too pissed to even think of what I really should do next.
Want to know why?
I'm sure you don't.
But I will say it.
I will say why.

In my country, we have a system in school(which I strongly disagree with), that we have to follow. Every year, freshman year will always appear. Now, the sophomores have to cut their holiday another week, to torture the freshmans. The new kids in high school. They didn't necessarily call it "torture." The sophomores called it, "training." Train their mental,their sanity. to survive high school. Training their sanity, to survi~~~ve high school. I called it, "mental torture." I have never agreed with this program. Sophomores should make the best week of high school! Not giving them a living hell! And I am saying this, because I've been to this mental torture thing, when I was a freshman!

Anyhow, not all sophomores get to do so. There's this organization, where class presidents run all the activities. And thank GOD I didn't think of signing up as class president. Because, if I did, they would've cut off a week of another holiday of mine!

So that's why I didn't join.
That's why I've always avoided the organization.

Well, worst part is, the ones who do not join the organization, gets an essay assignment. ESSAY. ASSIGNMENT.

Which is annoying because:
1) I dislike homework.
2) I'm not entirely free on my last week of holiday.
3) See number 1.
4) I do not like writing essays with rules I have to follow.
5) I have a hard time brainstorming on what I should write.
6) See number 3.
7) It's not realistic. Essays are not realistic to me.
8) I have to spend HOURS to stare into the monitor, staring at a blank page of Microsoft fucking Word.
9) see number 6.
10) see number 9.

So, anyways, I finished the freakin' assignment before writing this entry.
Although I hate this system.
I still finished the assignment.
'Nuff Said,

- Pudding.